Walking up to a beautiful woman out of
nowhere and introducing yourself is one of the hardest parts of being a
man. In fact, it takes so much out of you that, a lot of the time, you
forget the next important step of the conversation: Actually having
something to talk about.
Luckily, if you follow these tips you won’t have a problem maintaining a conversation with a woman.
Tip 1: Non-Verbals are Important
More than anything else, non-verbal cues are
what distinguish a good conversation from a bad one. If you’ve ever seen
two people really hitting it off from across the bar, you can tell
they’re into each other right away. It doesn’t matter if the actual
discussion they’re having is about quantum physics or a debate on the
value of the Earnest movies, the fact that they’re into each other is evident with how they move together.
In the same way, when talking to a woman you
want to make her feel comfortable and project that you’re a confident
man. A great pickup artist once told me that the correct way to approach
any girl in a conversation is to have it in your mind that she’s
already told you that she’s going to sleep with you later that night.
That way, in your head at least, there is
absolutely no pressure. Since it’s going to happen anyway (in your head,
remember) you can talk about anything you want and can be more
comfortable. However, talking in a comfortable pose (remember:
non-verbals) can often lead to that fantasy scenario actually coming
true.
Tip 2: Talk about your passions
Mystery has said it in the past: “Enthusiasm
breeds enthusiasm.” So if you are passionate about something, don’t be
afraid to show it. Now, there is a fine line to take here, you don’t
want to needlessly steer the conversation into the direction of your
passions all the time but if you happen to start to talk about
the stock market, and that’s something you’re truly passionate about,
don’t be afraid to show it. Women are always looking for men to show
their emotions, and passion is one.
Tip 3: Playground mentality
Go into the conversation with a “playground
mentality”, as in, feel free to tell stupid jokes or give her strange
high-fives here and there. By using that 3rd grade humor,
you’ll get her to feel comfortable in the conversation, which is one of
the most important parts. As long as you show her you’re a fun guy, no
need to keep a sourpuss on your face like some emo rock star, then
she’ll be more apt to want to talk to you again down the line.
Tip 4: Don’t ask too many questions
While women love to talk about themselves,
and the easiest way to do this is by badgering them with a bunch of
questions, too much can lead to the conversation feeling like an
interrogation. Instead, after she’s answered an initial question, feel
free to follow that up with a statement.
For example, after you ask her if she has any
pets, and she mentions she has three cats, don’t go right into the
question about what their names are. Once you found that out, there’s
not a whole lot of places to go with the conversation. Instead, say
something like “I heard that cat lovers are more inclined to be
independent than dog lovers” which will open up the conversation a bit
and get her to talk about herself without her feeling like you’re putting her under the hot spotlight of the interrogation room.
Tip 5: Lengthen your answers
When she asks a bit about yourself, try to
lengthen the answer a bit instead of just answering the question
directly. While there’s a fine art of doing this, you don’t want to give
too much away, remember, as that will take away a lot of the mystery
surrounding you, it is better to give a longer answer than a shorter one
in most cases.
For example, if she asks you what you like, a
good answer is not to say “I like baseball.” Instead, answer like this:
“I like baseball because it reminds me of the time my dad spent playing
catch with me in the yard, building our father-son connection”. From
there, the conversation can go into all sorts of places and you’ve also shown your soft side by opening up a bit about your feelings. Win-win!
Tip 6: Use cold reads
The art of cold-reading is important. In it,
you use clues from either how she’s standing, what she’s wearing, or
what she’s talking about to make correct assumptions about her. It’s
going to take some practice, but generally speaking if you’re getting a
feeling about a girl, you’re going to be right about it.
For example, if she continues talking about a
large amount of ex-boyfriends, tell her that she “seems like the type
of girl who has a hard time settling down because she craves too much
excitement out of life”. Not only will you show her that you’ve been
paying attention this whole time to the conversation, but also now the
conversation can once again be about her, a topic no woman doesn’t
enjoy.
